I just reread an e-mail from Judy Kay Mountjoy who was remembering an old friend who had passed away.  She could have been comparing her life and the deceased since they were friends years and years ago.  She has a lot to be satisfied with but I think she concluded her friend did not do so well in marriage and particularly in health.  It seems he tried to save a young child from a fire begun in n accident in which he was hurt.  He had many surgeries to repair damages to his body and his heart was involved.  Remembering can be hurtful.

I have taken upon myself the duty to memorialize neighbors who lived in our building and have passed away, mostly of age related problems.  One such, Max, was seen for years driving an antiquated car and there were rumors that his apartment was filled with junk he collected over the years.  I knew him to say hello but that was all.  He was always pleasant and could not be involved in conversation.  He was not seen for several days last week and did not answer his phone or knocks on his door. Eventually, the Fire/Rescue team was called and his door broken down and he was found dead for at least a few days.

I remember him mostly for that old black behemoth of a car that he had given up driving, deciding instead to walking using a walker to the store and back.  That provided an activity and time so that it became the principal reason for living.  He usually had a smile on his face, paid his Maintenance on time and caused no one any trouble, except perhaps, the gossips who questioned his proclivity to collect odds and ends and clutter up his apartment with them.  He may have had an antiques store.  There are so many things that we did not know about him.

Max was and is a poster person for the aged who die alone and leave very little knowledge about family and friends.  He preferred not to pass on this information with names, addresses and phone numbers.  He did not leave a key with any neighbor - so his door was kicked in. I hope he passed away without pain although in extreme loneliness. There was no one with him, to care for him and to let the world outside of his home know that it would soon be fumigated and an attempt be made to sell it.

We remember people for things they are or seem to be and only sometimes we get to know them as persons.  Max passed away without any friends in our building and no evident information about family who should be notified.

Judy kept in touch with Steve Balber and spoke with him the week before he died.  That is how Carol who was in camp with him came to remember him.