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Even When the News Is Good You Feel Bad
NMB, Florida March 5, 2002 A.H. Schectman
THINKING ALLOWED
Essays on Issues, Ideas and Reflections on the Times. Published Now and
Then. Opinions Pro or Con Are Welcome.
EVEN WHEN THE NEWS IS GOOD YOU FEEL BAD
Carol was told that the tissue sample taken from her ear showed a
"carcinoma". Later, it was given a name, an "adenoid cystic carcinoma".
This was hard following upon the painful operation giving Carol two new
knees. She is resilient, however, and went through the second operation
within two months and came out scarred, once again, but willing to go on.
She is walking well, able to move her head, drive, go to meetings and play
bridge. She is again enjoying going to the movies although looking for a
seat where she can stand and walk in intervals without obstructing someone
else's view. We ate out last night with friends and had a good meal and I
bought the first bottle of wine ever at a meal and we drank to some good
news. But why does Carol feel so bad?
Yesterday afternoon we received a call from the doctor who excised Carol's
cancerous tumor. He told her that the latest test on the lump itself that
was sent to the Armed Forces Institute of Pathology, showed that it was
benign and that the scheduled radiation treatment was not needed. I felt
wonderful but Carol seemed sad and disturbed. She asked, "Why did he tell
me that I had cancer when I didn't?" Carol was upset that her world that
was organized to fight against an unwanted growth was now against just
healing from having had it taken out.
I guess such things are traumatic as in Carol's situation because of
expectations. She wants very badly to be like her old self. She is
confused. Why did two fine needle aspirations indicate cancer? Was it
someone else's test? Was a mistake made? Why did she have to go through
such a period of depressing thoughts about harboring a terrible substance in
her body?
The wine was relatively inexpensive in an excellent Bal Harbour restaurant
but very good. I, who do not drink, drank and got a bit high. I think the
evening was a perfect opportunity to celebrate and we did.
Carol's Evaluation: 10 out of 10.
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