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Letter
18601 NE 14th Avenue Apartment 312
North Miami Beach, Florida 33179
October 29, 2001
Dear Light of My Life,
I have just found a group of letters I had put aside in a strange place but
to preserve them. They were at a time when people wrote letters in pencil
or ink. They were from you. At one time you shared what you thought with
me.
Funny, I never resented it when you told me you didn't read my stuff but
put them in a pile. I must have written a lot of "stuff" for you have two
piles of my essays. I accepted it that you weren't interested in what I
chose to write about.
I'd really, really like you to understand that all of my THINKING ALLOWED
essays have been dedicated to you and your brother. He knows nothing of
this for he resented my asking him questions and bothering him with things
he did not want from me. He has only been interested in passing on news of
his mother's taking care of him and letting me know how dependent and sick
he continues to be. You rarely call or answer anything except direct
questions.
I'd really, really like you to understand that I write to you in this
fashion to provide a diary of my thoughts and what has happened to us - I
never thought that the output would become daily and a burden to you.
Because of e-mail I was able to afford to share my thinking with friends and
others who were interested in what I had to say. In the hope that I could
talk with you through this medium I wanted to make up for the time we were
separated and emotions were scraped raw.
What I have managed to construct here is such a diary. It is in reaction
to what is happening to the world far distant and close at home so you will
know what it is like to grow old through my reports of how I think as I age.
You, the child of my heart as well as my loins, must bear the process of
aging and you are probably beginning to go through what I am experiencing.
I do this in order to help you, not to make you resent me further.
Although there is really no comparison I wish to point out that throughout
his life, John Adams wrote voluminously to his sons and particularly to the
one he hoped would turn out the best. This was the sixth President of the
United States. John Adams wrote his thoughts down as though he considered
them important. He sent them out and was pleased that he had educated his
children to think in a similar fashion. As I said, there is really no
comparison - but I have just finished his biography and it was a long and
productive life. He shared it with his family.
What more can I say? I love you and wish you would write or call - or even
send me angry e-mails.
Love,
Dad
(305) 949 2701
e-mail: cashcmn@bellsouth.net
FAX: (305) 949 1994
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