Bitter Tears Amidst Rampant Joy

North Miami Beach, FL March 11,
2001 Aaron H. Schectman

THINKING ALLOWED
Essays on issues, ideas and reflections on the times. Published now and
then, Opinions pro or con are welcome.
BITTER TEARS
AMIDST RAMPANT JOY
Bitter tears were there amidst rampant joy yesterday and the tears were
mine while wholly acknowledging the merited joy that I miserably was part
of. I don't know how to express it better but there seemed to be none who
were not invited to this particular Bar Mitzvah at Temple Sinai of North
Dade where we have been made to feel at home.

Constant running nose and dripping eyes with resort to tissues and
handkerchief, I was overwhelmed with feeling. There were many sights that
contributed to the rush of emotions throughout a well-planned and carried
out affair. The boy becoming an adult was self-assured and cocky and mugged
at the love thrown at him by the principals of the ritual. He wiped off the
kiss of his mother to the roar of appreciation of his still child-like
response, contrasted with his shooting confident smiles and gestures to his
friends or relatives down in front of the Bimah where he reigned supreme.

I was blown away particularly by the couple in the seats just in front of
me. He was an old man who needed to get up only once during the entire
ceremony. His wife solicitously patted him, running her hand over his
shoulder and his back asking him questions. She touched his head and kept
asking if he was all right. He could not stand when the congregation arose
but she did but did not look away from him once. This made me cry
internally even more. This kind of love is rare.

The realization that this joy was not to be personally mine was, perhaps,
the cause of my weepy condition. My eyes hurt and my tissues were soggy
when I contemplated my situation which was one of admiration for what I was
witnessing and jealousy for what would not and could never be mine. My life
missed this great joy - seeing children, their children and an excess of
family coming together amidst an admiring extended family of friends and
neighbors to mark, once again, one of the cycles of life we have been
permitted to enjoy.

In my introspection I did not see that Carol joined me in hurtful
self-pity. We both were honored to share in this happiness but owned
over-flowing cups of bitterness and tears. Carol's Evaluation: 10 out of 10.