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Redefining Oneself
North Miami Beach, Florida 3-16-2000 Aaron H. Schectman
THINKING ALLOWED
Essays on issues, ideas and reflections on the times. Published now and
then. Opinions pro or con are welcome.
REDEFINING ONESELF
Sometimes in the course of human events it becomes necessary to redefine
oneself. Carol and I have more or less decided upon moving permanently to
Florida. This means that we will dispose of our belongings in a nine-room
house in New Jersey, sell the house and settle in a much smaller
establishment in the south.
This also means that decisions will have to be made. Will I still need my
shop with all the machinery I delayed so long in acquiring? Of course not.
Will I need to putter around fixing things or making new inventions that
this machinery will require? I don't think so - regretting that thought.
What about my collection of books? Since I was a small boy owning books
seemed to be a worthy and important occupation. I was struck by the
information that a library of several hundred books accumulated by colonial
luminaries was considered to be an astonishing accomplishment. At one point
I toted up my collection on shelves, in piles, in boxes and in storage and
realized that I had gathered and had given away more than a thousand. There
would be no room for 90% of them in Florida. They are like old friends.
How can I dispose of them?
Then, too, how can I dispose of my image of myself as tool user and book
reader/owner? Thus the difficult task of redefining myself. Without the
books to dust and meander through yet once again, I think I will become
restless. Without the tools I cannot imagine myself fixing this or creating
that. What will I do with myself?
These thoughts were partly inspired when I fell off my bike maneuvering
across Miami Gardens Drive. Instead of getting off the machine, I allowed
it to tip over as I slowed to a stop at an island in the middle of the
highway. Not much damage was done either to the bike or me but for the last
several days I have contented myself to avoid physical things and recline in
bed reading. Will I need that bike in my new life in the south? What about
all the appurtenances that go along with it - the shorts, helmet, gloves,
radio etc.?
I will have two new computers to fit into a very small space or get rid of
one of them. Our copier, my ham radio station, my art equipment, our art,
all of our winter clothing - all these must be weighed in some kind of
balance of the old life and the new one being defined.
We agonized over friends and the things to which we belonged as well as the
things that belonged to us. Friendly, well used neighborhoods, restaurants,
shopping places and old haunts must be discarded. Well, there are new ones
to look forward to, aren't there?
What did you do when you reached a different stage of your life? Did you
create a balance sheet and add up the plusses and minuses? Or, did you just
go about and do what you made up your mind to do as quickly as possible? We
are at the beginning of redefining ourselves. Carol may find it easier to
do for she is social, well liked, plays bridge at the drop of an invitation
and can make up lists of things to do at any time and any place.
As for me, I will be thinking a lot about redefining myself long after the
deed is done.
Carol's Evaluation: 10 out of 10.
Carol's Note: Reading this makes me sad for Aaron. I know he has redefined
himself before and he will most likely have to do so again. We reach
different stages of life and we change. For example: He didn't mention the
trailer and that cross-country life we enjoyed. I wish he would just settle
down and enjoy this retired life which includes activity at our Temple,
recording for the Blind and Dyslexic, painting, sketching, sculpture and, of
course, READING (we are members of 2 excellent libraries).
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