What Does Choice Have To Do With It?

North Miami Beach, Florida 2-10-2000 Aaron H. Schectman

THINKING ALLOWED
Essays on issues, ideas and reflections on the times. Published now and
then. Opinions pro or con are welcome.
WHAT DOES CHOICE HAVE TO DO WITH IT?

One would think that choice has only to do with a woman's decision to have
an abortion. Not so. Choice has to do with a great many situations and the
one I choose to write about today is the choice of a mate.

As a parent I kept my lips zipped when a child of mine announced the
selection of a partner. My child had no real notion of what marriage
entailed or the sense of self needed to enter that relationship. This choice
was an out and out mistake and it was as clear to me as the view from my
window on a sunny day - but I had no right and I did not say anything about
how I saw this travesty. I never said, "I told you so" when they divorced a
few years later. She took him for all she could (most of what we gave them)
and he was glad to give it all away.

I feel the same way about two females or two males deciding to formalize
their relationship and make a commitment for a lifetime. I have no right to
intervene in other people's lives when they choose a path that to me seems
to be wrong. It is their life, not mine. I would resent their intrusion
into my thoughts, behavior and choice. Unlike other people who claim
religious inspiration that such liaisons are morally wrong, I think that it
is more a temperamental thing - like the spouse who want no drafts versus
the one who likes the windows open. Let them make compromises or split.

For some reason there are groups of people who think that ambitions of
certain members of the community are wrong and that laws must be enforced
against those ambitions. I say, let them alone either to make a success or
a failure of their union. If they are both good people they may have made a
good choice. If the choice was bad it does not mean that either or both
were not good people. It is the strangers intruding on their space who
muddy the waters and help not one bit.

To those who say that unions between two people are morally wrong, I say
not so. Strange maybe, but keep your lips zipped up. It is their choice.
Carol's Evaluation: 9 out of 10.