|
I Don't Want to Have to Go Through That Again
North Miami Beach, Florida 2-6-2000 Aaron H. Schectman
THINKING ALLOWED
Essays on issues, ideas and reflections on the times. Published now and
then. Opinions pro or con are welcome.
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN
Yesterday morning I awakened early and began my usual day looking for the
newspaper and making breakfast. This was at 5:30 a.m. I try to go back to
sleep but when I am up, I am up.
I don't know where it came from or why something irritated my throat but I
began coughing. Instead of making a hot drink first and soothing that area,
I made two slices of toast. They were crumbly and irritated me further.
Soon I began gasping for breath, coughing in huge clenches from the
diaphragm wrenching my whole body. I tried to go outside and let the noise
of what was happening to me out there instead of where Carol might hear me
and wake. It was agonizing and I thought I would choke to death.
At one point when I realized I could not breath I banged into the bedroom
and woke Carol who knew not what to do but call 911. For some reason, the
spasms I was experiencing began to stop and while it took some time, I
returned to normal breathing. It was a frightening experience.
I suppose this experience which followed on a doctor's visit was due to
"nerves". The Florida cardiologist I saw gave me a very thorough
examination and initially found that I was healthy but that my heart had
enlarged and a valve was leaking causing a murmur. I was now dealing very
directly with my mortality, a thing with which I do not want to deal.
I do know that having reached my 73rd year I am pushing an envelope. All
the scarcely admitted hopes of reincarnation into a vibrant, pulsing youth
now came crashing down and I allowed myself to become out of time, out of
hope and out of breath.
However, there is still time to study the landscape and see the beauty all
around us and enjoy the gift of each day to the full as it comes along.
Carol's Evaluation: 10/ out of 10.
|
 |
|